A broke girl with a bucket list

45: What Keeps Me Up At Night

45: What Keeps Me Up At Night

Just in this week: three exams, two papers and a heck of a lot of anxiety. I guess not every week is going to be perfect (I know exchange is idyllic but I’ve been over here for a year) and the closer it gets to my going home the more restless I feel in Reims. I suppose the fact that my last two weeks here before I ship off to the UK and Prague are filled with finals doesn’t exactly help.

Though I managed to power my way through my work, getting pretty much everything finished by Sunday, this week was filled with a lot of sleepless nights. As much as I’d try to get in bed by a grandmotherly time (9pm every night go me), I spent most of this week lying awake while my brain went into overload. To summarise: I’m very bad in times of transition. It’s ironic as I’ve lived in a different place every year since 2014 (and have had to start over three times this year alone), but I still can’t manage to get the hang of the switch.

It starts with little to do lists for what I need to get done before I leave, and what I plan to get done when I get back to Sydney. The more I’m faced with not being able to do anything on those lists until the time comes, the more anxious I get about them. For example, I lay awake on Monday night stressed out to the max. Was it about my two hour exam the next day for a course I really care about? Of course not. It was about what date exactly in January would be the most optimal time to start searching for a shared house. Reading that back in daylight I get how ridiculous it sounds.

On the bright side, between 2am musings on rent prices and what my New Years Resolutions should be (I’m not even kidding), I actually managed to stay pretty on top of my game this week. One thing I’m pretty proud of is that I started a new daily workout routine and I managed to stick it out for a week. Yeah, a week isn’t a huge amount of time but seven days in a row of anything should be celebrated if you’re the least consistent person on the planet. Pat on the back for Beth.

Another high point in my week was my interview for Maddy and Claudia’s awesome podcast project On the Lips. I’m a big fan of any independent project started up for women by women (see Sisterhood of Soul as a stellar example of this) and the conversations that these ladies are collecting are the kinds that I only ever want to have. If you’re someone whose interested in taking part (in either to be honest) I highly encourage getting involved. Being able to escape my nightmarish 10 page paper on EU Public Diplomacy to have a chat in a quiet hallway with two like-minded people about everything from mental health to my favourite word is my idea of a dream study break. Thanks to you both for being the creative, motivated and inspiring women that you are! I’m so excited to see (listen to) the finished product in September 2019.

Anyway, I’ll sign off with some photos of the half-light I got out to see in between exam study. Also Christmas markets. Last week here we come!

Bisous xx